Whilst not intended this post works as a companion piece to “Don’t Let Your Past Rob You of Now” as they both focus on dealing with your past.
This year marks 10 years since I had major back surgery and when ever I look in the mirror at my back I can see the long scar which is a reminder that I have a few screws and wires in my spine. Whilst the operation has provided me some stability it didn’t remove the pain, lust lessened it a little and I still require a stick to walk with. My back issues are not the only thing which doesn’t seem to have changed a great deal over the last decade; I may be debt free and self employed but I barely scrape through each week just like many do. And whilst I never imagined it would be this way I am still living in my parents’ home.
But do you know what, all this; my history with gambling, the debt I ended up in, the back issues and other health issues I have contended with are no longer baggage which I drag around but are part of my story and are blessings. Yes, I really did say blessings as all these things which once I would have fumed about, fuelling the bitterness at the bad luck I was suffering, I now look at as my journey which brought me back to God and in a better place than I was. Nope, my life is not how I ever imagined it would be and yes I do get some days where I wonder how long this season of financial difficulty will last but on the whole these things no longer make me bitter. In fact as someone who has taken to writing about my life experiences in the hope that maybe they will help others I now see much of it as source material. Truthfully I feel like that it would be a waste of experience not to share what I have learned as if I kept the stuff I have learned from life to myself it doesn’t help anyone.
But there is something I have to keep reminding myself when it comes to my past and present. I need to stop wondering why this stuff has happened because that achieves nothing at all and only God knows why. I need to remember that just thinking about one of my past mistakes and stewing on it isn’t going to change it; I have no DeLorean with a flux capacitor so that I can go back in time and change things. All that stewing on the past is doing is wasting my time especially when I end up beating myself up over something which I now understand had to happen to shape who I am now. That doesn’t mean I ignore the past because there are lessons to be learned I just try to control how much time I give to thinking about those things which can’t be changed and instead focusing on what I need to do now.
In Psalm 90, which was written by Moses, is this verse, verse 12 “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom”. Some times we forget that our time here on Earth is limited and as such it is priceless. So why waste that precious time stewing on and beating yourself up over the things which have happened and you can’t change but instead learn from them and move on.
So have you got some baggage you have been dragging around with you, things from your past which you can’t shake and you end up stewing over? Is it time to learn and let go of them rather than wasting precious time on them?