I failed English when I was at school, yes sounds utterly stupid seeing I am a Brit but when I took my GCSE exams all those years ago I got a D in both English Literature and English Language. It makes me smile to think that God has taken something which I was never really any good at, some would say that I’m still not, and made it a crucial part of my living. And yes I still make plenty of grammar and spelling mistakes whilst some times my use of words is a little basic, but somehow I have gone from someone who didn’t like to write to someone who writes pretty much every day of their life not just as a job but as a passion.
But my journey from someone who failed English to writing every day reminds me of some thing I heard Christine Caine once say – “God doesn’t call the qualified he qualifies the called”. In many ways it is the same with my Bible knowledge because as I write this blog post I haven’t read the entire Bible and I can’t quote scripture like those I enjoy listening to preach. Yet I know that I know more today about the Bible and God’s will not just because I spent time reading the Bible yesterday but because God uses ordinary people like you and me to do his work. And even if you think you can’t he will help you, he will qualify you if you submit to his will.
One of the biggest examples of this is in the Bible in Exodus 4 as God is calling Moses to lead his people out of Egypt. In verse 10 Moses pleaded with the Lord:
“O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled” (NLT).
As someone who has suffered from confidence issues and anxiety for most of their life, and unsurprisingly a fear of public speaking, I can really feel for Moses as he is saying this. In fact when I first felt God was asking me to write about my life experiences I laughed because I thought there was no way I could write about the mistakes I had made in my life let alone write about my faith.
But of course there is more and in verses 11 and 12 of Exodus 4 the Lord replies to Moses:
“Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say” (NLT).
And that is the truth because when you surrender to God, ask him to take the helm and stop relying on your own knowledge and power awesome things happen as he gives you the words to speak or in my case to write. Trust me when I say that a few months ago I could have never written this article, I would have tried to do it through my own power and not only would have struggled to come up with any biblical references but would have found myself constantly struggling with what words to use.
As such whilst the title of this post is “I’m a Writer Not a Speaker” I know two things: firstly even when you feel unqualified God can use you in ways you might never imagine, often using the areas you feel most weak in. And secondly when you trust in God and not lean on your own wisdom and strength he can do great things through you, giving you the words to say or write even when you might feel like you are not good enough.
Oh an one final thing which came to me as I was finishing this blog post off; like my singing I may not be the best writer but when I write these blog posts I do so to honour God and that is what matters, not what anyone else might think. So if you feel God is asking you to do something which stretches you out of your comfort zone, don’t resist as whilst it may be scary he will be with you every step of the way if you give him the control.